D-Bags Making American Tourists Look Bad

Apr 21, 2014

I just sat in the dining area of our hostel in San Miguel, Guatemala, listening to 4 American dudes fall into pretty much every stereotype about American semi wannabe hipster bros. Don’t get me wrong, I know full well that I can come across as stereotypically awful in one way or another at some points, but these guys…I mean my god.

They were all clearly hungover and making it to breakfast late. First some of them were talking about how sad it is that everyone is so connected via Facebook and the internet now, and how some people “legitimately substitute physical and social interaction with Facebook”. Then they started wondering about whether or not they had slept in the wrong cabins because none of their keys worked, nor did they know their room numbers. Then some of them started sharing chew the fat as they say about “hot chicks”. You see one of them was talking to a girl on one of the many meetup sites and her profile picture had two women, one of them “hot” and the other “not”. He asked her which one she was and she apparently gave “the wrong answer”, to which he scoffed that this was a smart move on a "not hot" girl's part, putting a hot chick in her picture with her to reel guys in only to reveal the ugly truth.

And then the clincher was when one of them started blabbering about how the British were the absolute worst people he’s ever met or traveled with, and how they are just awful. At which point a British fellow from another table looked over and announced that he was in fact, the subject of this douchebag’s discussion. To which the douchebag said “Oh man. [laughs] Well no point in trying to backtrack now.”

All the while, one of these dreamy beefcakes was clearly having sinus issues, and was snorting back all of his snot, and then spitting it into a water bottle at the breakfast table.

Needless to say, we all got up and moved elsewhere on the grounds. Ugh.


Please add a comment

Posted by Jen H on
This is the absolute truth...except that I was only privy to half of this conversation as I left about half way through due to the fact that I would have killed them all had I continued to sit there and listen to that garbage..
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