Nov 08, 2013

 

I watched this wonderful TED Talk last night presented by a woman who happened to be a lesbian, and her talk was an effort to make everyone see that we’re really all the same. We all have closets to come out of as she says, “your closet may be telling someone that you're pregnant; or telling someone that you have cancer. All a closet is, is a hard conversation. And although our topics may vary tremendously, the experience of being in and coming out of a closet is universal. It is scary. And we hate it. And it has to be done."

I found what she had to say very relatable and very truthful. She points out that coming out of your closet and the hard conversations that accompany it are not relative, they are all just hard. They are hard. While in the grand scheme of things, I don’t think that my closet is as hard to come out of as others, but it is hard. And it is scary. And I hate the thought of coming out of it. And I HAVE to do it. The thought and anticipation of coming out of my closet has been weighing on me for quite some time – longer than just months. It’s not a good feeling, and I feel for those who have their own closet they’re sitting in, whether it’s big or small.

So what is my closet that I am dreading having to come out of? That would be my work closet. My job is my closet and coming out of it is telling my bosses that I will no longer be working for them. My coming out is telling them that I will be leaving in four weeks. By now you can probably see that my closet isn’t the biggest of closets, but for me it’s a huge closet and I’m not looking forward to even opening the door. You see, I love my job. I enjoy what I do, I enjoy the people I work with, I enjoy the people I work for, I enjoy the direction our company is moving in and it makes me a little sad knowing that I will have to walk away from that. I have worked hard to get to where I am and I want to work hard to keep moving forward. Knowing that I have to give up all of these things is harder than I really thought it would be. It’s weird knowing that I’m going to miss everything that is going into all the planning and budgeting that is happening now for 2014.

Not only is it weird working with people to set these plans and goals for next year, but I also feel like I’m letting these people down and I will disappoint them. THAT. Is my biggest fear of all. Disappointing others. It’s been the driver in nearly all of my actions and decisions for as long as I can remember. But knowing that I’m not alone in coming out of a closet that in itself is helpful. I think for me and just about every other person toiling away in their own closet, we have this idea of what people will think and how they will perceive us when we finally come out and tell them. We envision judgment and disappointment and maybe even hate. But I have to keep reminding myself that it won’t be that bad, and they’ll be happy for me, and I’ll finally have that weight off of my shoulders.

 Tons of people every day have their own closet to come out of.  It is scary. And we hate it. And it has to be done. And I’m going to do it.

 

Roam On!

 

 

Written by Jen Hays Jen is a marketer with a passion for the digital world and an insatiable desire to travel and explore all that the physical world has to offer; marrying the two to share her experiences with and inspire all who join her along the way. Find her on Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

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