Mar 20, 2014

The Literal First-48:

My first 48 hours of being “jobless” has come to a close and it was full of some interesting revelations and realizations. Leading up to my last day of work the big question was whether or not it all seemed real yet. It didn’t then and it still really doesn’t now. It hasn’t quite sunk in yet.

The first revelation I came upon was right after work on my last day when I was out for cocktails with some co-workers. Of course some of the conversation revolved around work-related topics and it was at that moment that I discovered that what had been my business no longer was. I suddenly felt as if I no longer had a purpose in life. This was not a feeling that I was expecting to experience. I quickly switched gears to tell myself that it wasn’t that I didn’t have a purpose in life anymore, I simply had a new purpose and a new direction to head in.

The second discovery I came upon was the feeling of slight panic every time I went to reach for my phone and quickly remembered that I no longer had one. All the little things that you don’t even think about when you use your phone you become acutely aware of; snapping a quick picture, checking the time, checking in with someone, etc. It’s a little bit sad in a way, just how attached we are to them. It certainly has made me appreciate the modern conveniences that they provide however.

The biggest (and best, in my opinion) realization that I came upon several times on my first Sunday of this mini-retirement was that I didn’t have to work in the morning! We all know the feeling you get when you’re doing some mundane chore (folding laundry) or when you get tired in the afternoon on Sundays and then following that you remember that your work week starts again in less than 24 hours - that feeling of slight defeat that the short weekend has beaten you yet again. As usual, those feelings crept into my head but like a burst of sunshine through the clouds I remembered that I have this new adventure to begin on. I think we all tend to feel that way, whether we enjoy our jobs or not. It’s more because work is something that we have to do rather than something that we can choose to do.

The Other First-48:

The “Other” first-48 hours of being “jobless” refers to the weekdays where being “jobless” actually applies. This is the real question people were asking about. So just as I thought, when Monday rolled around and then Tuesday and there was no pre-7am alarm to wake me up other than hearing everyone else preparing for yet another day at work, it really just felt like a couple days off from work. It didn’t yet feel like I didn’t have a job anymore. I had a lot to get done during those days so they held a new kind of productivity. I will admit though that I did feel a new sense of freedom. My time felt different, like I was no longer working with a ticking clock, and that I “had better enjoy these hours of freedom because they would be running out at the end of my time off,” like I might normally think when I did have a day or two off from work. I’ll check back in a few weeks into the trip to let you know if it “feels real yet.” I too am curious to know just how long it will take for my brain to realize that I’m not just on a vacation, but our first mini-retirement.

Roam On!

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