Jun 06, 2013

It’s been an interesting two weeks to say the least. Two and a half weeks ago I was excitedly, and naively, daydreaming about the fact that we’re only 10 months from the trip. Then came that Thursday; the text message reads, “Sooooo the old boss just threw me a serious curve ball. We should seriously talk about this one because it just got real… [Insert more money than we make now] per year to live in Malaysia. I’m literally in mental shock over this one…”

It’s hard to actually sort through all the thoughts that went flying through my head upon reading Teague’s message. Thought #1: Isn’t it obvious? That’s a lot of money! Say “Yes!” stupid! Thought #2: SHIT. WHY is this coming up NOW?! Ten months before we leave and he gets an offer for what he later described as his dream job. To be fair, we knew that something like this could happen. His former boss had been in touch with him for at least a year dropping little hints of possible openings in awesome places. When these conversations first started, we were so far out from the trip that depending on when the offer came, we could pretty easily make both happen. We even said, “If he offers you something past XYZ date, you can’t take it.” We were right on the edge of XYZ date. So what to do?

The offer itself was long-term but after initially explaining the broad details of our trip, 2-3 years would work for the former boss also. TWO. TO. THREE. YEARS. That would mean pushing our trip out 3-4 years from our original departure date. That’s when we really had to take a good hard look at what was really important for us. Taking the job would mean a good setup for when we get back. It would mean a guaranteed job for Teague in a pretty cool place with a really good salary. The logical side of my brain said to do it. But to me, that meant putting our trip in jeopardy. Even if he was able to negotiate a shorter work term, two years – max, which I told myself would work; things can easily change over the course of two years, especially with a new job, in a new place. What if he fell in love with the job? What if we fell in love with Kuala Lumpur? Was I willing to gamble away this trip that we have been planning now for a year and a half? Every day was a different answer.

After sharing the news with my parents, both of whom were supportive of whatever choice we made, my mom wrote me a thought-provoking e-mail as she usually does in times like this. I read it over and passed it along to Teague. Then came the response: “If you were me, what would you do? If you had to make the decision for me, what would you choose based on your own desires?” Now, I know it’s impossible for me to truly put myself in his shoes and make the decision (his shoes are way too big for me!), but I did my best. And instead, I put him in my shoes. At the time of this writing, my career is one year old. My career, one year! So now putting him in my shoes: if we went to Malaysia, “he” would have a very short career under his belt and it’s not likely that “he” would get a job in “his” field while in Malaysia. “He” would also be left alone in a foreign country for weeks on end while his girlfriend traveled around for “her” new job. What would “he” do? And since “he” wouldn’t be getting a job in “his” field, “he” would be working something else that likely would not stimulate his brain. These last three things are almost more important than the previous three just stated: 1) the trip we had been working so hard for wouldn’t be the same. No matter what we told ourselves, it wouldn’t be the same, 2) we made plans with other people to take the trip. Obviously each couple could do it on their own and life would go on, but we made plans, and 3) more work opportunities will surely come our way, but opportunities for this trip will not. My decision was made. Thanks, but no thanks. It hurt me a little to say it because I knew how much he wanted to take the job. But as my mom said, “know in your heart what is most important to you.” I listened and my heart spoke.

In the time since our “final answer,” I have felt a sense of relief towards the whole thing. We’re back on track and my excitement can get back to its naïve daydreaming.

So what can you take from this experience that can easily be classified as a “first-world problem?” Listen to your mother. No really. She usually has some really good advice to give. Also, sit down, shut up, and listen to your heart – really LISTEN. Your answer will come.

“I could wistfully tell you to just follow your heart and your dreams and then everything will fall into place!” –My Leetle Meeshell

Roam On!

 

 

Written by Jen Hays Jen is a marketer with a passion for the digital world and an insatiable desire to travel and explore all that the physical world has to offer; marrying the two to share her experiences with and inspire all who join her along the way. Find her on Google+ | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

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